Overly long writings about West Ham United FC. This is the kind of thing you might like, if you like this kind of thing.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

West Ham United vs tottenham hotspur: Match Preview - 23/08/2009

1. Opposition

What more is to be said about tottenham?

If this blog had any grounds whatsoever to complain about being over-worked, then I could be forgiven for simply cutting and pasting Spurs-related articles from one season to the next.

Let’s see, this year they are apparently well placed to steal Champions League qualification.

Previous seasons of chronic under-achievement are a thing of the past and their prudent squad additions of the summer see them with the best-equipped squad outside the Big Four.

As part of their revolving-door transfer policy, they have re-signed a partially effective, partially redundant striker on the fringes of the England squad, whilst incurring a sizeable loss.

They continue to be managed by a man with all the financial scruples of a cash-strapped Dick Turpin.

Unfortunately, they have been in good nick so far this season, looking the better team against Liverpool on opening day and putting five past Hull City in midweek. But, as the saying goes, all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

2. They Seek Him Here, They Seek Him There

Our imperative pursuit of a striker continues apace, along with the need for the Club to again refute speculation of the need to sell.

The lack of progress with either Luca Toni or Eidur Gudjohnsen hints that those deals may now be dead, only to be replaced with the prospect of French-born, Moroccan international, Marouane Chamakh.

Chamakh has already been linked with Arsenal this season, but the stoic Wenger sneered through the smoke of his slim Panatella at the asking price, only willing to offer Bordeaux the £5million he found down the back of the Chesterfield in his palatial office.

Chamakh arguably offers a better prospect than other targets as while unproven in English football, he is just 25-years of age.

His contract with the French Champions does, however, expire next summer and he is rumoured to be keen on seeing out this deal and joining Arsenal on a free next year, enjoying the benefits of the signing-on fee and Royal Doulton china tea-set he can expect.

3. History

Last season’s corresponding fixture is the nadir of Gianfranco Zola’s tenure.

To go down 2-0 with barely a whimper was a real disappointment and almost as unexpected as the sight of Ledley King putting Spurs one up. This is a man with a compacted ball of biscuit crumbs for a knee, out-jumping our entire defence at a corner.

Always striving for improvement in the exasperation stakes, we then allowed none other than feared Scot, Jamie O’Hara to score a 25-yard thunderbolt on the break, having just seen a Carlton Cole effort cleared off the line in the dying seconds.

Everyone left the stadium that night ruefully staring at their bootlaces, cursing the players for a sore lack of effectiveness.

Our recent history against tottenham has been a source of embarrassment for some years, particularly as one assumes that the fixture’s importance to the fans must filter through to the players, from a Mark Noble, a Fanzine or a disgruntled Pearly King.

Harry’s voodoo over us since leaving Upton Park only adds to the chagrin and this is certainly an opponent against whom we are owed a performance or two.

4. Land Of The Giants

With the World Cup less than a year away, competition for places is hotting up and opportunities to shine drying up.

It’s clear that Fabio Capello plans on using a big target man and the two main contenders should be on view this Sunday.

Peter Crouch returned to his boyhood club this summer for £9million and continues to cast his hat into the ring by showing just what can be done with Twiglets for legs, a fit girlfriend and a cheeky one-liner.

He has however been ousted in recent months by our own Carlton Cole, who has shown sufficient form to be considered the current front-runner.

While fairly evenly matched in the air and on the deck, Cole is better at holding off opponents and bringing others into play, thanks to having upper body strength superior to that of an elderly meerkat.

If he can add 20 goals this season, he should be able to see off that rampaging super spider once and for all.

5. Picture Book

Harry Redknapp enjoyed 'catching up' with Luis Boa Morte

6. Hey, Big Spender

tottenham’s main signings this summer were Sebastian Bassong from Newcastle and Peter Crouch from Portsmouth.

Redknapp has fashioned an image as a crafty, wheeler-dealer type, adept at unearthing lesser known talents or conjuring an Indian Summer out of the odd veteran.

It often goes unreported however that for every Paolo DiCanio, there is a Florin Raducioiu, for every Marc Vivien-Foe, a Marco Boogers.

More recently, ‘Arry has adopted the guise of Fagin, a wizened old degenerate not to be trusted, who can call upon a regular gabble of adoring, uneducated halfwits, happy to follow him wherever the biggest bag of swag decrees.

I look forward to the day when Redknapp takes the natural Dickensian progression onto a Miss Faversham, whirling around the centre circle of Upton Park ablaze in a crumpled wedding dress.

7. Prophet And Loss

In last week’s preview for Wolves, I omitted a section at the last minute demanding improvement from Mark Noble.

I proffered the opinion that he has had plenty of time to consolidate his first team spot and while he is often solid, this is the season to take it up a notch and assert himself as a proper goal-scoring midfielder.

His display on Saturday therefore came as bittersweet, for I am now unable to contend that either Noble or indeed anyone takes on board a single thing written in these pages.

This week I have omitted a section whereby I make a cracking argument for Jermaine Defoe’s assassination and am eager to see how that pans out.

1 comment:

  1. Watch West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur EPL Highlights August 23 2009 Live Score Results. The arch rivals of London West Ham United and Tottenham Hotspurs will face each other at the Upton Park this Sunday.